Suddenly, I realised that I do not hate the project I’m working on.
I hate the gazillion of purls I have to do. endless rows (every other) of purls….

It takes me 20 minutes to make a purl row. and 7 to make a knit.
Guess if I’m looking forward to joining it so I can do it the round (stockinett in the round, yes)

I used to have a blog/online journal where I wrote just about my life and blah blah.

Much of it was very teen-angsty (don’t blame me too much, I was a teen after all). And
mostly talked about the ongoing war I have with depression and other mental health issues.

I’m not going down that route again. only problem is that I don’t have much else to talk about it seems. Not politics. books, music, school, my job or what I do on my free time. All of it is absorbed in a black hole of depression and anxiety. It hurts, really bad.

Knitting new: I was 30% into the somewhat cowl, having joined and made a couple of inches more. and tried it on, as recomended.

It was huge! figure that out?

I did. The pattern ranges from 32-44inches over the bust. I don’t fit the chart, I’m to small   The problem was that instead of lowering the amount of stiches, I made it bigger. Why?

Because my gauge was off. Instead of 24st pr 4inch I had 19. Instead of dividing the numbers I added to them.

I ripped it all out and now have grapefruit sized ball of yarn and one inch of knitted fabric, this time, hopefully the math is ok though (If I need to rip it out again, I will knit it with a completly different pattern, I swear)

A lawyer said to the newspaper “I had to force myself out of bed every morning”

My sympathy is non existing for that. Things are never really bad, untill you no longer are able to force yourself out. When you see no point in it.
That is when depression sucks.

sucking away your life, one day after the other, slowly, ever so slowly…

I’m working on a cross-stitch kit (it was kind of free, following a magazine, I had to buy it) called Popcorn and it’s not done, yet.

Despite the fact that it’s a puny little pattern, it have taken me forever, and I’m not done. (YET!)
To make things weirders, as if it needed to be that, the pattern is a girly thing, a teddy bear holding flowers surrounded by pink hearts.

I’m just waiting for my circular 5mm needles to do something I actually like.

The cross-stitching will be shown here when my camera works again, as will Clapotis.